You can be a coach by asking questions and helping your child to figure out what to do next. You are their guide. That is the difference between doing the project for your child and coaching them.

Go through the process with your child by asking questions. Only cover the sections that apply to what your son needs to do.

Science fair projects take a lot of work and really, the teacher’s job is to guide the kids through the process the first time. In fact, she needs to be taking the whole class, step by step, as a group, and do it with them first. This is not a parent’s job.

I am such a rebel I would call all the parents I know, come to the school, and quietly protest the assignment until the kids are given instruction.

I don’t know how old your child is but something is stopping him from succeeding. You need to check to see if he has any learning diabilities, ADD/ADHD, check his vision.

If it were my child I would take him to see a transformational therapist who could probably get to the bottom of the issue in a brief time. Private email me and I can refer you to various kinds. madeline@super-science-fair-projects.com

This year his project is due in days. He has all the material for this project and yet just lets it sit. I will not do the project this year. Help, yes I a,ways help my kids and love doing it but it is time for him to take responsibility and do his own work.

What do you do when you give the child all the space in the world. he still wants everybody else including his teachers to do it for him. I just had this meeting with his teachers and it has been an own going problem. I try and yet the father just lets him do nothing. We live in the same home I might add. It has trickled down on our daughter and now she wants to slack on her work too. Both are very smart children

What should I do if it is his first time participating and the school did not provide enough information to help them. I have called the school and left many messages to talk with the teacher and director and none of them have been answered. I also personally spoke with the teacher but had some doubts later, it is also my first time involved in it. What do you suggest?

I don’t have the energy to do middle school over again. I don’t have the heart to live vicariously through my children, and repeat high school and college.

I’m here to support them and nudge them and occasionally give them a shove. I’m also here to stand back and let them fail, now and then, so they don’t experience failure for the first time in mid-life, when it’s most painful and makes for a much harder lesson to learn.

I feel strangely out of step, some days, that I’m happy with my own life and don’t really care to live THEIRS, too. Sure, I’d help with a science project – I’d hold pieces together while the glue dries, or take directions from my child. I’d even edit a term paper (lightly); I’m a professional writer and have edited my kids’ work right up to a C+ on occasion.

What do THEY learn if I do it for them? What do I NEED to learn from repeating 7th Grade, for Heaven’s sake?

It’s just more meaningful when you achieve something on your own. I don’t want to rob my kids of that. And thank you for reminding us that that does NOT make us inadequate parents.